Why I was desperate to learn how to hear from God

I was at a point in my life where I really needed to learn how to hear from God. I was so burned out from doing the same type of high pressure, ultra-demanding work that I didn’t even enjoy anymore. The job had become all about the things I liked least. It was down to glimmers of satisfaction and fleeting feelings of accomplishment. There was no sense of joy left. The tasks I had always avoided became the core of the job. But what to do?  So hard to leave a great company after so many years. And constant searches of job postings all led down the path to the same end result I was currently immersed in.  Discouragement. Disillusionment. Hopelessness. All mine. What to do?

 

Oh, what a sermon!

Finally the weekend. And then Sunday at church. Ahhhh. Feels so good to hear the worship music and feel the peace. A sermon. Hmmmm. Interesting sermon. Wait a minute … this sermon is really good. I think God really wants to show me something special today. I listen intently and my spirit soars with insight.

Back home that Sunday. What I had heard in that sermon was revolutionary for me at the time. A new way to pray. A new way to LISTEN. To really listen to the still small voice of God speaking to my inner spirit. It had always been easy for me to pray. I talked to God all the time. But the sermon had showed me I had no clue how to hear from God. Kind of freaked me out actually, the way people would say God told them this or God told them that. I never heard God’s audible voice. Were all these people really telling me God spoke to them audibly?

What I heard from our humble pastor, with his down-to-earth and fatherly style in full bloom, was that learning how to hear from God was all about being silent, stilling our anxious thoughts, and letting the Holy Spirit speak to our inner spirit. And really working at it. Really working hard to still our minds so our inner spirit could receive.

 

Time to try it out … but why is this so HARD?

So I was fired up and ready to try it out that Sunday. I laced up my running shoes with wild abandon, more excited about going for a run than ever before. Perhaps this day would be the day I would learn how to hear from God regarding what to do about my awful job situation. A quick stretch and off I went, running into God’s nature. Air invigorating. Body feeling good.

Jogging. Praying. Jogging. Praying. Thinking. Analyzing. Trying to listen. Jogging. Praying.  Analyzing. Walking. Jogging. Laying all the options before the Lord. All my ideas. All my thoughts. Trying to listen. Jogging again. Thinking. Praying. Running in place. Praying. Trying to listen. Mind racing. Just can’t seem to listen. Too much to say. What do I do? Tired. Jogging. Praying. Walking. Trying to listen. Why is it so hard to listen? Why is it so hard to still my mind? I can’t believe I’ve been out here so long … the sun has left me alone.

Reality hits. I am way too busy talking and analyzing and thinking and trying to bring the answers to God rather than truly learning to be silent and still my thoughts and listen for His still small voice.

I see a park bench ahead. Under the stars. So peaceful there. I will lie there until I hear something. Until I learn how to hear from God.

To be continued …